• Question: What are the main causes of anxiety and depression and how can you get over it on your own?

    Asked by anon-237784 to Peter on 11 Mar 2020.
    • Photo: Peter Kinderman

      Peter Kinderman answered on 11 Mar 2020: last edited 11 Mar 2020 10:37 am

      OK… so that’s a HUGE question.
      I mean, huge… about on the scale of ‘why do bad things happen to good people’… and we’ve been trying to answer that question since before we worked out how to make clothes.
      But here’s my take…
      First.. a VERY simple answer: https://peterkinderman.blogspot.com/2013/01/things-in-simple-language.html
      Then… more complicated: https://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/allinthemind/does-mental-illness-exist/9130774
      And more complicated, but personal, here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/our-turbulent-minds/202002/me-my-brain-and-baked-beans
      And then, today…
      Well… we’re all different, biologically, genetically, and that might make a TINY difference to how we react to things (some people may be more prone to think deeply about things, to see threats, to be trusting). And so it’s possible that may have a role… But, mainly, I think we get depressed and anxious (and have other problems) because of the things that happen to us, and how we’ve learned to make sense of them.
      That means we have to think not so much about whether or not “it’s biological” or “it’s psychological” (“it’s nature” or “it’s nurture”), because it’s ALWAYS going to be both.
      I think we need to think about – sorry to be technical – sources of variance.
      So… how much are the differences between us in terms of whether or not we develop anxiety or depression best explained by biological differences, or different experiences?
      Well.. we do know that people respond differently to the same event (say, being bullied). But is THAT because there’s some difference in their brains, or because the experiences they’ve had mean that they’ve LEARNED to react differently?
      IN MY OPINION…. our beliefs, emotions and behaviours – including our mental health – are the product of the way we think about the world, our thoughts about ourselves, other people, the world and the future. These thoughts are, in turn, the product of a process of learning. They are the consequence of our learning. Our experiences, the life events we’ve encountered, our social circumstances and, importantly, how we have understood and responded to these, have shaped our understanding of the world. Our brain is a supremely efficient engine of learning, and makes sense of our experiences. The resultant framework of understanding (or mental model) of the world is responsible for our thoughts, beliefs, behaviours and emotions. Differences between people’s learning experiences will result in different ways of understanding the world, and hence differences between people.
      THEN… CAN WE GET OVER IT ON OUR OWN?
      Well.. yes… but humans are social animals, so we an expect (like everything else), so it’s probably easier and better with help.
      But that doesn’t have to be drugs or even therapy.
      I’ve done a tongue-in-cheek guide (sorry about the title): http://peterkinderman.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-kinderman-method.html
      But I’d suggest:
      #1. go to ‘Every Mind Matters’: https://www.nhs.uk/oneyou/every-mind-matters/ – it’s the NHS ‘go-to’ site for mental health
      #2. look at ‘five ways to wellbeing’: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/improve-mental-wellbeing/
      #3. have a look at the ‘activity scheduling’ advice that Dr Sara Tai and I prepared for the BBC: http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/headroom/cbt/activity_scheduling.pdf
      #4. and our ‘catch it, check it, change it’ guide to CBT: http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/headroom/cbt/catch_it.pdf
      #5. there’s an app, too: https://www.nhs.uk/apps-library/catch-it/
      #6. and… my favourite ‘mindfulness’ technique: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/anxiety-5-4-3-2-1-mindfulness-activity-trick-how-does-it-work-ease-anxiousness-immediately-a8199296.html
      AND THEN… if you feel you need help.. ASK FOR HELP !
      Can you get over it on your own? Probably… but you can eat cold baked beans if you have to. But why bother? Ask someone to show you how to use the microwave, and it’s a lot easier. So you don’t HAVE to combat depression and anxiety on your own. Speak out… if the people you speak to aren’t compassionate, try someone else. There are a whole swathe of people whose paid job is, literally to help us when we’re depressed and anxious. It is – it should be – just an ordinary part of life.

Comments

  • Photo: Mhairi

    Mhairi commented on :

    Anxiety and depression are illnesses that can relate to many of our experiences and responses to them. We may feel stressed all the time, under threat, powerless, unworthy and so on for many reasons. Sometimes these feelings are useful ways to indicate to ourselves that we need some support or that we need to make some changes. There is lots of research on the needs to feel valued, to go outdoors into nature, to exercise, sleep well and do things that make us feel proud but overwhelmingly our research and understanding shows that relationships with others are a great mental health resources so it is really helpful to reach out – even if it is to just one person. It can make the world of difference. Groups and group activities have been shown to reduce anxiety and depression, so connecting with others whilst doing something we love can be really helpful. Identifying hobbies and activities you enjoy and finding others who do to can be a way to find meaningful social activity but friends and family are a great resource and can provide a sense of understanding when we think nobody will understand.